Welcome to Dreadball Tonight!

“Hi, I’m Bob Johnson”

“And I’m John Bobson, and welcome to another fascinating evening of Dreadball Coverage on the home of Dreadball ISPN1!”

Who’s on the slate tonight John?”

“Well Bob, it’s a double header between the Neutrinos and Dorxmund”

“Wow John, should be a great couple of games, with the fights as the Home and Away fans change places between games almost as entertaining as the action on the pitch!”

“Ha, ha, good point Bob, it’s great for the fans to be able to mix fighting with sports viewing”

“Mixed fortunes for the teams so far John, meaning Dorxmund get a while posse of additional players as the underdogs”

“That’s right Bob, just a shame only Jacks and Guards have turned up, Dorxmund have plenty of those already…..”

“Anyway, without further ado, here’s the first launch!”

“And that’s Garyth Bayull with the great pick up for the Neutrinos…. He runs up the side of the pitch….. he cuts inside…. He shoots for the 3 pointer with the Orx Guard in his face….. And he scores!”

“Wow John, that’s 3-0 to the Neutrinos in almost no time at all!”

“The fans are going crazy Bob and the ball is re-launched……Doxmund happy to have some possession here Bob….. and that’s a well worked move that’s netted the Orx a 1 pointer!”

“Well worth keeping the scoreboard ticking over John, especially with the Jacks needing to score little and often”

“So, on the re-launch, the ball is picked up by Mykul Owain and he’s off into the 3 point zone after a really deft pick up”

“That’s true John, he went longer than we expected there, the intervention of the coach on these first two drives with great play calls (DB cards) has really allowed them to push the envelope”

“And he scores!  Another 3 pointer to take it to 5-0 Bob”

“Wow John, this really is quick scoring and Dorxmund appear shell shocked”

“That they do Bob, but they aren’t letting it stop them and they’ve got the ball….. Oh no they haven’t, their jack has spilt it trying to pick it up and the ball is loose!”

“Terrible luck there John, but the neutrinos are onto it in a flash….. they line up the 2 point shot….. And they score for the 7-0 win in 7 drives!”

“I’m not really sure how to sum that one up Bob…..”

“Me neither John, but Dorxmund had better get their heads in the game as it’s the mirror match straight away…..”

“And look at all that cash Dorxmund have generated from this game Bob, that’s enough for more coaching (cards and dice) and leaving them a tidy sum for a rainy day”

“That’s true John, and the Neutrinos get more experience and more coaching (dice) out of the cash from the win”

“Just time for a quick word from our sponsors – Nuka Cola Corp – and we’ll be right back with you………..”

……….

“….. and welcome back Sports fans, it feels like only 5 minutes that we were last with you!”

“Errrrr, that’s because that’s exactly when it was John”

“Good point Bob, let’s get on with the action”

“So, John, with the teams still apart of experience, Dorxmund once again get plenty of help from extra players……but the striker still eludes them with only Jacks and Guards turning up with their boots”

“That’s terrible luck again Bob, they really could have used that striker”

“And the ball is launched!”

“The Neutrinos sat way back this drive Bob, probably worried about a first rush beating from the Orx Guards”

“I should think so too John – and it hasn’t stopped them as the lunatic Orx players have barrelled in and there are a host of players in the injury box and on the floor!”

“Ouch Bob, I don’t think that human jack will be out again”

“Not without his legs that Archibald Merriweather III has ripped off, John”

“Chalk him down as a casualty Bob”

“Lots of ineffective possession here John from both teams”

“Indeed Bob, especially as they’ve both spilled it and the ball is spending plenty of time bouncing around on the floor”

“another crunching tackle there and the Neutrino striker is surely dead after that hit!”

“But wait Bob, he’s got really lucky (skill re-roll) and the lucky rabbit’s foot on his armour has just managed to deflect the worst of that strike leaving him injured for a while”

“but the Neutrinos have it Bob and they’ve gone for a 2 pointer….. It’s in!”

“that’s a small crumb of comfort in a game with the most ineffective scrum of guards in the middle John”

“That’s right Bob, looks more like they’re holding hands and singing Kum-By-Yah as opposed to trying to hurt each other”

“Not what the fans paid to see John”

“That’s right Bob…..But they did pay to see this as the Orx cause another casualty and run the ball up for a 2 pointer to level the scores!”

“Wow, what a play John, the Neutrinos are now two players down and the scores level again….”

“Sounds like it’s time for someone to step up Bob”

“And here’s Mykull Owain John…. He picks the ball up….. dodges a couple of tackles…. Makes his way to the 4 point hex….. and with the coach shouting instructions he nails it!”

“That’s a big score so late in the game Bob – will Dorxmund have time to come back?”

“Let’s find out John… the Ball is re-launched….. and the orx are ignoring the ball and have just taken the head off the neutrino number 5!”

“A third casualty in the game Bob?”

“That it is John, these orx have really brought their A-list pain game to this one”

“And here’s their attempt to score at the death with a deft steal…… But the neutrino player dodges away and the final hooter goes”

“Close one John, only that one score separating the sides”

“True enough Bob, and plenty of neutrino players separated from their limbs too”

“Half a team for the Neutrinos to hire there John, but an absolute avalanche of cash for Dorxmund after that one – those jersey sales really went through the roof as the casualties mounted”

“That they did Bob and Dreadball is all about the money after all…… errrrr, and the game too”

“That’s right John, so here’s us signing off – thanks for tuning in sportsfans”