18 Sept 2013

Latest Dreadball Results

Welcome sports fans to the thirty second sports roundup on DBTV1. And what a week it has been!!

We've seen surprise victories from the underdogs! The Maidens and the Wasps have both managed to pull out stunning victories despite being fighting against the odds!

The Brickies are proving to be stoic in the midfield having recovered from their early defeats at the hands of the Neutrinos who themselves have seen their almost perfect score line marred by a shock defeat! Still the rest of the league has a lot of work to do to catch up with the Neutrinos and their runaway score line.

Lastly we need to mention the Orxs and what a horrible week they've had. Two defeats and a fatality at the hands of the Dreadball launcher can only have been partially made up by their mauling of one of the Dwarf players. Bitter Sweet revenge at best!

We're at the half way mark for the 2013 league and it is still open. Can the rest of the pack catch the Neutrinos with their games in hand or have the Nuka-Cola boys done enough to capture the Trophy?

We won't know until the final whistle so make sure and stay tuned to DBTV1 for what is proving to be rip roaring season!

Next up tonight on DBTV1: Just how fast is the Dreadball Launcher?

11 Sept 2013

The dreadball season continues!

"Hi, I'm Bob Johnson"
"And I'm Jon Bobson"
"And welcome to Splundsday night Dreadball"
"What's on the slate for tonight Bob?"
"Well Jon, we have a double header between the Neutrinos and the Brickies and Dorxmund play their first game of the season tonight against the Wasps"
"Gosh Bob, that's a salivating line up"
"It sure is, especially for the Orx guards who look like they're trying to eat their assistant coach!"
"So, you can catch up on the action in the Dorxmund/Wasps game over on ISPN2 and we'll be covering the Neutrinos/Brickies matches"
"And that's kick off Bob!"
"Wow, straight from the opening launch the Neutrinos striker, Mykul O'wen has scooped up the ball, tiptoed down the sideline and slammed the ball in for a 3 pointer!"
"What a sensational start Bob!"
"The Brickies are looking to retaliate with their best players Jon.... And their Guards have put 2 Neutrinos players back into the dug out, including Mykul O'wen"
"That'll teach him for showboating Bob"
"It will Jon, especially as the Brickies have nailed a one pointer there!"
"Great work by that striker Bob, there were holes everywhere in the Neutrinos backfield"
"Ok, we're back in play and the Neutrinos are really pushing that ball Jon"
"That they are Bob, and with a little ducking and diving, that's another 3 point strike! This one converted by Garyth Bayull"
"Gosh Jon, the Brickies are looking a bit overwhelmed in their debut game"
"That they are Bob..... But wait, their star guard is looking to clear a path the through into the Neutrino 3 point zone"
"What an idea by the Neutrino jack, Tobias Redshirt, who has run interference and slammed into the Brickies guard to try to halt his momentum!"
"That's brave play Bob"
"Some would say foolhardy Jon as his head is quite literally knocked from his shoulders by the surging forgefather!"
"That's gotta smart Bob"
"And the Brickies drive appears to have run out of steam..... And Garyth Bayull has stolen the ball from the Brickies striker, dodged into the 2 point zone and ended the game on rush 5!"
"Now that was a game and a half Bob..... Well, it was half a game at least"
"It was Jon and it leaves plenty of time for a word from our sponsors, Nuka Cola Quantum - all the chemicals you need to boost you through the day!"
"Great thoughts Bob, I might just reach for a Quantum now, can I get you one?"
"Yes please Jon, although it in no way impairs our objectivity of this game, right?"
"That's right Bob! Anyway it's a quick turnaround here and the Neutrinos have been strengthened by the addition of a new guard and a new striker, with Tobias Redshirt sold for parts"
"Always nice to see people recycling Jon"
"Anyway, the ball is out and the Brickies are darting around it..... Oh no, their striker trips on a poorly tied shoelace and crashes into the hex with the ball!"
"That's ok Jon, the ball hasn't gone far and the striker is back on his feet"
"Not for long Bob as the infamous Neutrino guard, Vinnee J'ones has crashed into him"
"And Mykul O'wen has scooped up the loose ball and scampered in for a 3 point strike!"
"Wow Bob, what can the Brickies do from here?"
"They can try to score Jon! And here is a striker who has got to the 2 point scoring zone and has extra help from his coach for this one! Surely he can't miss from here......?"
"......Sadly he can Bob, just doesn't seem fair, does it?"
"Anyway Bob, Garyth Bayull has the ball and is swooping towards the 3 point zone"
"And the Neutrinos new guard has decide to teach the Brickies striker a lesson for trying to score Jon"
"Ouch, that's gonna hurt..... Especially as Vinnee J'ones has just delivered a tremendous blow to the back of the star Brickies guard's head, sending him to the bin for 3 turns"
"What a turnaround Jon! The Brickies striker saw the guard coming and has pole-axed him with a level 2 injury!"
"It really is a funny old game Bob..... But Garyth Bayull restores some sanity by converting that 3 point strike"
"It's a mountain for the Brickies to climb now Jon"
"But climb it they'll try Bob - whoa, where did that Veer-myn striker come from? He's got to the 4 point strike hex!"
"He's their underdog bonus Jon and the Brickies seem to be playing patta-cake with Garyth Bayull in their strike zone Jon, he's dodged 2 tackles so far"
"That's right Bob but the Brickies striker has the ball and is trying to launch it to the Veer-myn player...... Oh that's a poor throw, but the Veer-myn player is stretching to get it....... Oh, bounced off his fingertips and the ball is loose!"
"So unlucky Jon, they'd have been right back in it if that Hail Mary play had worked out"
"That's right Bob, but here comes the Neutrino striker Luthor Blissit to recover the ball in his own strike zone.... And Garyth Bayull is making himself available for a play....."
"So he is Jon, and Luthor picks up the ball with ease and scoots around the Veer-myn striker"
"Did I just see the Brickies coach say 'snake-hipped' Bob?"
"You did Jon and there's the throw from Blissit.... And it's the perfect throw, which Bayull makes a meal of but just manages the catch"
"This should be all over now Bob"
"Indeed it is Jon as Bayull waltzes in and converts the 1 pointer to end the game on rush 7"
"Great couple of results for the Neutrinos Bob and a tough introduction for the Brickies"
"I'll tell you what though Jon, I'm looking forward to the Brickies games against Dorxmund, they could well be very brutal indeed!"
"Too true Bob, too true"
"So, that's all from us at ISPN1, enjoy the rest of the intergalactic time units remaining in your local day/night cycles folks!"

10 Sept 2013

Olimpik Orxerre in training

Here they are, my new "other" team for dreadball. Black and blue are the colours for Olimpik Orxerre and whilst they won't be in this league of dreadball, they may well be in the next......
......Or alternatively just used in exhibition games to further the reach of dreadball to new players :)

6 Sept 2013

It's all to play for!

The league has started.

The trophy stands ready and the only thing left to decide is.............

....who the winner is!!

Good luck to all!


4 Sept 2013


“AWWWWW and he has missed it!” *

“That’s right Buzzzz the Z’Zor’s toss has gone loose in the Maiden’s end.”

“Pharr Pharr eh Buzz?”

“Sorry Buzzzz! I just realised what I just said! Sorry to the folks at home! It’s just really easy to get caught up in the moment when the players get so very close to slamming one in the hole!”

“I’m hearing you Buzz! The excitement is really mounting as the Wasps are still trying to press home their advantage in numbers but they just don’t seem to be able to get to the climax of their plays”.

“I know Buzzzz! The Wasps have tried several times now to slip one in past the Maidens defence but the girls have been fast to close up the gaps to their holes”

“Correctamundo good buddy! The girls are putting up a valiant fight and their early lead seems to have really rattled the bugs from the West Side”.

“Oh Crunch! It looks like the girls have had another player taken for treatment”

“Indeed Buzz! I wish I could tell you which one it was but I really can not tell the humans apart. All I know is that she didn’t see Crab Ronidae, the Wasps Guard, as he thundered into her. Another blow for a team low on players to start with. This was only made worse, earlier in the game, when Wasps Lineman Chrys Ididae sent one of their team to the morgue with a slam that we could almost feel up here in the commentator’s box let alone down in the ladies end.”

“Of course Buzzzz that we must take a moment to send our thoughts out to the family of……?”

“Pussy Galore Buzz?”

“Yes there is Buzzzz. But let’s stay on Topic for the folks at home.”

 “Yes indeed Buzz. The girls have taken a hell of a pounding! It’s been bloody gashes everywhere!”

“Absolutely Buzzzz! There is so much blood out there it looks like we’ve had the painters in!”

“But the losses aren’t holding the Maidens back Buzz…no siree! They’ve even managed to turn around a small lead from the bugs with a devastating play to steal back the lead! Awesome play from the humans!”

“But what’s this Buzzzz!?! The Wasps are making a play for it. I can see that there are only seconds left on the clock and the ball is in the Wasps end with one of the jacks, Tory Midae I think, he's making a play for it.”

“Tip Hiidae has seen what he is doing and the striker is going for the Maidens sweet spot! He’s there ready! One quick toss into the maidens end and they will have it!”

“Tory’s claw has gone back! HE’S THROWN IT!!!”

“IT’S WIDE! The ball has gone wide and there’s the whistle! Game over for the Wasps and what a win for the valiant Maidens who have earned that win despite the odds being against them at the start!”

“Indeed Buzzzz. A great win for the plucky ladies and some serious questions to be asked in the Wasps Changing room”

“I should say so Buzz as the Wasps strikers spent far too much time on their backs when they really should have been taking advantage of the maidens whilst they were on top”

“I couldn’t have put it better myself Buzzzz!”

*All translated from the Z’Zor language to Galactic Common.

3 Sept 2013


"Hi, I'm Bob Johnson"
"And I'm Jon Bobson, and welcome to the start of the dreadball season folks!"
"Well, thanks to the magical opening ceremony that errrrrr..... Over-ran a little...."
"But wasn't the wardrobe malfunction a thing of beauty to see Bob?"
"It was Jon, that's why we all love slightly fading intergalactic megastars trying to get more attention by getting themselves naked"
"Anyway Bob, we the opening game was on ISPN2 and what a game it was - here's a still from the game"

"Indeed it was Jon, the nuka-cola neutrinos got a quick couple of 2 point strikes and killed 2 of the Maiden Hammer Jacks"
"Wow Bob, surely there was no coming back from that"
"You would think that Jon..... But those plucky bunny girls scored a 3 pointer and then after the neutrinos missed a 4 point attempt they narrowly missed the chance to win when one of their strikers fluffed a catch in their final rush"
"Wow-ee Bob, what a game!"
"And what a game from the neutrino Guard Vin-ee Jo'ones who killed 2 opposing players and mashed another one for a 3 turn injury"
"How do the Maiden Hammers come back from those injuries Bob?"
"We'll find out real quick Jon as we join their game against the West Side Wasps in progress with the Maiden Hammers 2-0 up..... And another Jack killed in a stroke of horrendous luck!"
"AND THE Z'ZOR HAVE JUST MISSED A 4 POINT ATTEMPT IN RUSH 7! So with no further ado, we'll go to the game....."